Deep Thoughts by Boyce

Boyce: So, today is your birthday?

Me: Yep.

Boyce: Wow, I didn't think people could live that long!

Me: Crazy, I know.

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(In the car)

Boyce: Mom, can you turn down my air? I'm freezing back here! I thought I was going to turn into ice!

Me: Okay, no need to be dramatic.

Boyce: Snakes are fast.

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Me: Boyce, I like when you're a nice boy. Can you be nice ALL the time?

Boyce: Hmmmmm.....I'll tryyyy.
Me: Good.

Boyce: That's not a "yes", that's a "we'll see".

Touche, son. Using my own words against me! 

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Boyce stayed home with me today and I told him I'd get him a small toy if he stayed quiet during my conference calls. He did, surprisingly! When I was at the store, I got him a small helicopter toy. He informed me that he was promised a "cool" toy and this wasn't "cool" so I need to take it back. Next time I will just lock him in the closet.

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Boyce: Mom, what happens if you accidentally eat a black watermelon seed?

Me: Your stomach closes up and you can't poop or pee ever again. Why, did you eat one???

Boyce: (look of horror on his face and tearing up) Nnnnnnoooo.

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Boyce: My bear's name is Grandpa Bear.

Me: Oh, really? What does he say?

Boyce: We talk about a lot. Like, his dad got killed.

Me: How did he get killed?

Boyce: It's a really weird story. I'll tell you in the morning. But, all you need to know is he and Grandma Bear got killed. Grandpa Bear got killed by a deer. Grandma Bear got killed too. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.

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Boyce: Mom, can you call Drew and Jax and Daniel L.'s moms and make a playdate?

Me: Sure, I can do that. Should we invite Allie, too? Her mom asked to do a playdate with you also.

Boyce: No, she's not on my list.

Me: What list?

Boyce: The list of kids that are allowed to play with me. If they aren't on my list, then you don't need to call their mom.

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Me: Boyce, don't touch my files again! ::swats at his leg::

Boyce: Don't do that! I'm calling the cops on you! ::pretends to hold a phone to his ear:: 

Hello, cops? Come take Mommy to jail! And, hurry up please!

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